And it had all the promise of awesomeness…
Setting: 10:00pm. Leaving one of the most delicious restaurants in the town, full, and giggling over hilarious happenstances that occurred during the course of dinner.
Me: Oh my! Look! The stars! I can see them! They are not covered by clouds! And it is not raining! Why, I will roll my window down! And enjoy the breeze.
[Jaunty drive home in which I do not get stuck behind any slow-moving old people, it still does not rain, and I occasionally glance happily at the beautiful sky.]
Me: Oh yay, I am home, I can relax and then prepare for my classes tomorrow! [Attempt to roll up window.]
Window: [Up-up-up-HAHAHAHAHA, F U!]
Me: Oh nos! But window! You must go up all the way! What if it rains? There is already so much mold in my car! and the bugs! The Mosquitoes, they will move in! And the spiders! and the damnable mukade! Go up!
[Our protagonist notes that the window has somehow become dislodged from its track. She comes up with the brilliant idea to push.]
Me: C’mon, just a little further…
Window: [BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK X1,000,000]
Me: … I hate you. I hate you so bad.
Me: …I’m gonna have so many splinters.
Me: …And now there’s broken glass all over my driveway.
Me: …So not only will I have to replace my window tomorrow…
Me: …but I’ll probably have to buy new tires, too.
Me: …and this will cost more than my car’s total worth.
Me: GOD DAMNIT! [More swearing which, unfortunately, would harm the PG-13 rating I attempt to keep on this blog.] I HATE YOU. YOU STUPID THING. YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. HATE!
Me: …Why couldn’t I just have left well enough alone?
[Protagonist stomps into her house, shuffles through drawers for garbage bags and tape, and proceeds to do a shoddy ass job of a ghetto fix. She swears more. Fade to black.]