First, read this. (All of it. It’s worth it, I swear to God, and I’m usually a skimmer.)
Even if you’re not a gamer.
And especially if you’re not a woman.
I think it is an amazing piece on the effects and expectations of society, and how important language plays in that, and why it’s something that we shouldn’t just ignore.
A few of my favorite quotes:
The idea that gamers are the gentle lambs of the dating pool, neglected by females who gravitate toward wolves who will devour them whole, is a gamer bromide from way back. It is personified in the Nice Guy™ Gamer, one of our number who considers himself an ideal romantic partner because of his ability to offer emotional support under false pretenses, characterizes friendships that don’t lead to sex as “failures,” demonizes extroverts, and awards himself gold stars for not hitting women or raping them.
I think you could replace “gamer” with “shy guy” or “any guy who’s never felt overall romantically successful with women” and have it still work to a certain extent.
And here’s another good’un, something I’ve never thought about but rang very true (for me at least), and literally made my heart ache, brought tears to my eyes, because I know this fear:
Gavin de Becker is an author who has written several books about the nature of fear. In his book The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence, he noted that the outcome a woman feared most from any romantic encounter was rape and death…In fact, some men (and presumably some women writing for Gizmodo Australia) will tell you to avoid drinking too much or wearing sexy clothes in order to spare yourself such a dark outcome.
Imagine that! Hinting that it’d be your fault. It’s tough being a girl, huh?
Now… pretend you’re a man. What’s your greatest fear in a romantic situation?
Give up? More than anything, we fear being laughed at and made to feel humiliated by the opposite sex.
Kind of crazy to consider. Once upon a time, my friend recieved a very innappropriate letter from a much older gentleman. I got upset on her behalf and made several loud and angry comments in front of a guy friend (who I very much respect overall). Also I might have said I would go to the police if she felt threatened.
Male Friend said I was overreacting.
I responded that it’s possible Male Friend doesn’t quite grasp the effect of being a woman and the fear of sexual assault.
He said I was overreacting.
And while nothing violent ever came of this letter, this older gentleman continued to make my female friend feel violated.
Moving right along, I just really liked the phrasing of this one:
A gamer might promise to treat his partner better than “some alpha male,” but what he really wants is a partner who will pop out of a Pokéball when A WILD LONELINESS APPEARS, use the FORNICATION ability, and then retreat mutely back into his collection, dormant until needed again.
While I don’t think this applies to every gamer, or even every man, I did think it was pretty entertaining and maybe even true. I also think it could apply to many women and does illuminate some interesting things about how humans use relationships versus our careers.
Found this article via my excellent friend @13tales. Go follow him; he’s great.
I got a message from charity: water today. Apparently I get to choose a message to place on the plaque that will go in front of the Crits for Water well (should be finished within 18 months EEEEEE THAT’S SO COOL). Which is kinda amazing.
Considering that I in no way did this alone, I thought I’d come up with some ideas, put them up for a vote. Feel free to add more ideas in the comments if you like! If you come up with something, keep in mind that the message can only be 50 characters, including spaces.
I don’t know quite why, but this put a HUGE smile on my face.
Happy Friday, everyone.
So minions, any interesting articles you’ve seen recently?